


Reaction

by Timewaster123456789



Category: Bleach
Genre: Character Death, Five Stages of Grief, Gen, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Male Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:22:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29952669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Timewaster123456789/pseuds/Timewaster123456789
Summary: Rukia, Yumi and Ikkaku are killed in battle. Those left behind deal with the loss. Told in 29 vignettes, focusing on Byakuya and Kenpachi at the end.
Relationships: Ayasegawa Yumichika/Madarame Ikkaku
Comments: 5
Kudos: 3





	Reaction

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Weakling](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/774075) by Dreadful Virtue. 
  * Inspired by [Facade](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/774081) by Door Is Ajar. 



> I own nothing, please R&R. Dedicated to SesshomaruFreak please R&R her stuff. Also check out the rest of our growing pack list on my profile.
> 
> The bit about candy came from a fic by Door Is Ajar I really liked. Ending was inspired by Dreadful Virtue's 'Weakling'. Slash goggles optional I don't own any. Also I know bounts aren't cannon but, I really liked the Maki storyline so I'm including it.
> 
> 'Pathetic' takes place during Byakuya and Ichigo's fight during soul society in the anime. It never quite made sense to me.

* * *

**Moon**

* * *

Byakuya stood staring at the moon in silence. His sister was going on her first assignment tomorrow and for the first time since Hisana had died, he was genuinely terrified. He felt Rukia's Riatsu behind him. They stayed there watching the sky for a while before he noticed that Rukia was trembling.

He removed his captain's cloak and handed it to her.

"Niisama?" she asked when she noticed.

"You're cold," he replied.

"No, not really," she said

"You're shivering," he said finally looking at her, shoving the cloak toward her.

"I'm….I'm nervous," she whispered.

"This is what you want?" he asked.

"Yeah…it's just…what if I don't perform well? What if irun?whatif," she spoke in a rush, now that she was talking. He turned his attention back to the moon, to hide the softening of his expression.

"You won't disgrace the Kuchiki name. I wouldn't allow you to go if I thought otherwise," he interrupted her calmly.

"Oh," she said. He could hear her panting as she calmed down. They stayed there for a while, staring at the night sky.

"Thanks Niisama," she said, quietly as she returned to the manor. He nodded and held his tongue. _Be careful, Rukia-chan._ He watched the sunrise that morning, unable to sleep.

* * *

**Pathetic  
**

* * *

He wasn't throwing the fight, no there was a difference between throwing and simply not having the will. The kid wasn't bad, had a ridiculous Riatsu . He really just could not find a reason to kill someone who obviously cared for Rukia, just to ensure she died. It was so pointless. Yes it was the law but, where was the honor or justice in killing a promising kid whose only crime had been committed to save his friend.

He fought on because it was his duty. As he listened to the kid a plan began to form in his mind, a way out…maybe. He said that they should end the fight in one move. They were at the limits of their strength and if perhaps he wasn't quite as spent as he made out; well he'd never specified _physical_ strength. One move would take away his advantage in finesse. In raw power the kid just might have him beat. Under any other circumstance that would have stung, at the moment he just hoped that if the kid did win, he could do what he came for.

His sword shattered and he was almost happy. He gave Ichigo the answer he'd wanted. In truth he had wanted to tell someone, was almost grateful for the excuse. For the chance to try at least to explain, that which couldn't be forgiven. At any rate assuming that he himself didn't live through the day, maybe the kid would relay it to Rukia. She deserved an explanation. As for his own death, if this fight was any indicator it was merely a formality. He didn't care and yes this whole line of thought was pathetic, somehow he didn't really care about that either.

* * *

**Battle**

* * *

The fighting was thick and pitched. Rukia watched nauseous from the support line as her comrades fell some wounded, some dead. Only two months out from her captivity she still hadn't fully recovered from the effects of the sekkiseki. She felt so helpless. Seeing a large hollow appear off to her left on the largely unprotected flank she lost control. Abandoning her post she shunpo'd towards.

She was still slower than she expected, it must have seen her coming. She was met with a mace-like fist and thrown back through air crashing into the cliff face. She struck the ground gasping for breath with obvious internal injuries. Everything was agony. The hollow reached down, reached into her _chest_ and she screamed.

Out of nowhere she saw Sentaro rushing in zanpakto drawn. The hollow stood tearing her _heart_ out. With a strange detached feeling she saw it, dripping blood, as the hollow turned to face the new threat. She watched Sentaro drive his zanpakto through it with more strength than she would ever have imagined he had. She watched it die with a smile on her face as she drew her last breath.

* * *

**Regret**

* * *

Sentaro landed on the ground upon slaying the hollow and rushed to Rukia's side. Rukia: so pretty, in a velvet covered steel sort of way, so sweet, even to those beneath her station. She _had_ to be okay so he could tell her all that. She had always been untouchable, because of their family's respective stations and the small fact that she didn't notice him beyond what his rank demanded. He would tell her rejection be damned, he had to at least get it out there.

He knelt beside her unconscious body. Her silky black hair was strewn around her head, sticky with blood she'd coughed up. His heart leapt into his throat. She would be okay she _had_ to be. He shouted for fourth squad as he checked for injuries. She'd be fine, she was strong and her name would ensure she got best care, he was sure. For once he didn't hate her nobility.

He stopped shouting. Her injuries were obvious a hole gaped in her chest between her boobs—nice, perky boobs— her heart wasn't there. He was vaguely aware of a member of fourth squad arriving and saying something. Sentaro couldn't hear what over his own sobbing.

* * *

**Avenge**

* * *

Ikkaku fought side by side with Yumi, cracking jokes, reveling in the glory and challenge of the fight. He never saw it. Never had a chance to stop the naginata that hewed Yumi in half. Ikkaku's scream of horror merged with Yumi's agonized one, as he watched Yumi's top half fall from the rest of his body.

With a roar of pure rage Ikkaku launched himself at the hollow. He was vaguely aware of captain Zaraki shouting an order. He didn't care. He hacked and slashed and stabbed at the hollow. He felt two ribs snap as he was halted mid-shunpo. The creature had simply _grabbed_ him. His last thought before it closed its hand was that it seemed slightly amused.

* * *

**Devastated**

* * *

The hollows were drifting away from Kenpachi's general area as they tended to. He found himself disappointed as the battle haze faded. He looked around for a new target, which was the only reason he noticed as Yumi decapitated a hollow and moved to the next one. Only instead of its head falling off the black 'skin' simply remolded itself. Kenpachi watched shocked as Yumi was cut down and with pride as Ikkaku went to avenge his friend. Only for it to remold on every strike. _Oh shit._

"Its immune!" he shouted running over for once to assist. "You fucking idiot its immune!"

"Kido, kido!" yelled Yachiru from his back. He watched Ikkaku be crushed blood and bone showering down a few seconds before one of their squad mates got close enough to follow Yachiru's order. The hollow disappeared under his spell even as Kenpachi gave a primal cry of fury and laid about with his zanpakto. He cleaved through the hollows around them and sensed the rest of the squad following his lead.

He tore a path like a flash flood through a canyon, Yachiru giggling on his back and assisting on occasion. Eventually he stood alone surrounded by dead hollows with a path of them leading to where his men had died. He threw his head back laughing at the sheer thrill of battle, of vengeance well taken. He ran to find more hollows but the battle was over. Anywhere an eleventh squad member walked—they didn't need to run— the hollows ran. Kenpachi and a few others gave chase while the other Shinigami left the field to treat their wounds.

* * *

**Guilt**

* * *

Captain Ukitake was lying on his mat slowly drinking water. He hated the frail body he'd been cursed with; it always seemed to give out at the least opportune time. He hated himself for ordering youths into a fight he himself couldn't participate in.

A knock on the door broke him from such undignified thoughts.

"Enter," he said suppressing a cough. A skittish looking messenger boy entered.

"My apologies Captain, sir," he began shakily. "I was told to report to you: The battle is over. There were five casualties in your squad one dead, four wounded none of the wounded are currently in danger." Ukitake's throat tightened, another life lost while he lounged in comfort. He took a sip of water.

"Who was killed?" he asked hoping the boy would chalk the roughness of his voice up to illness. He would visit the wounded later.

"Rukia-san Captain," he said. _Hell._

"Thank you, dismiss," he rasped gesturing toward the door. He had cared about Rukia like a daughter or younger sister. He blinked back tears and was struck by a thought. Captains were always notified of deaths in their squad first and next of kin notifications were left to them. Most people with either the rank or the name to manage it arranged to find out anyway and were never any repercussions but, knowing Byakuya and his damn suicidal—occasionally homicidal— devotion to law he'd be the last to hear.

He might not particularly like the man but he didn't deserve to get blindsided by such news, especially given that he'd nearly died for her a few months before. Also someone needed to tell Renji and he was pretty sure it would be less awkward for everyone if it came from his own captain.

* * *

**Dispassionate**

* * *

Ukitake found Byakuya walking back presumably toward his office at a brisk pace.

"Captain," he called, feeling sicker than usual and trying not to cough.

"Captain?" Byakuya replied, halting. Though it wasn't overt Ukitake got a distinct impression of impatience.

"I'm required to inform you that Rukia has died in battle," he cut to the chase and kept it formal. Cold and clinical would be easiest on him and Ukitake wouldn't use Rukia's death to hurt her brother however much he deserved it. No, Ukitake hadn't forgiven him for his role in the execution fiasco, even if Rukia had.

"I appreciate your promptness, arigato," he nodded in reply. He walked on. Well I was worrying about nothing he thought anger rising. Ukitake grabbed his arm weakly and Byakuya whirled, eyes widened in surprise.

"Is that all you have to say?" he snarled, starting to cough. "For god's sake give it a rest Byakuya-san," he sighed, anger draining from him as he doubled over coughing, embarrassed as tears not entirely from the fit streamed down his cheeks. He heard an uncharacteristic sigh and felt captain Byakuya's hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry for your loss,"

"Go to hell," Ukitake replied quietly shaking him of and walking away with as much dignity as he could muster.

* * *

**Composure**

* * *

Byakuya walked into his office as calmly as he could and picked up the intelligence file he'd left. It was embarrassingly unlike him to leave one behind but at the moment he was pathetically grateful he had. It felt like the ground had disappeared from beneath him.

He'd only just gotten Rukia back, had spent the last two months trying futilely to make amends. Now she was gone, forever, like Hisana. His breath hitched and he leaned forward, head bowed, fist driven into the wooden desktop for support. His chest felt tight. He drew a shaky breath and exhaled slowly, controlled. In, out steadier now.

He straightened and returned to his meeting, forcing himself to put one foot in front of the other. His officers were waiting, the world didn't stop turning just because his had.

* * *

**Shock**

* * *

Renji sat through the rest of the briefing. He knew captain Kuchiki well enough—was probably one of the few who did— to notice he seemed a bit distracted. It wasn't like him to forget something and his demeanor had if anything shown more impatience and brusqueness since he'd returned. It was unnerving.

As the meeting came to a close, Renji stood with the others to leave.

"Vice-captain would you stay for a moment," it wasn't a request. Renji waited while the others left.

"Shut the door," he commanded. Renji complied, becoming more nervous. The captain wasn't generally given to secrecy where his own personal life wasn't concerned. This screamed of reprimand but, Renji would be damned to guess what he'd done wrong.

"I'm sorry to inform you that Rukia was killed earlier this afternoon," he said calmly. Renji froze sure he'd misheard. He looked at the captain; the man seemed calm enough, though there was a rare softness of compassion in his expression. _How the fuck can he say it like that? All the light's left the world, oh and it's going to rain tomorrow. He MUST have misheard._

"I'm sorry captain I think I misheard you," he said, embarrassed by how bad his voice was shaking. His hand was shaking too, actually his whole body.

"She died this afternoon in combat with hollows," the captain stated after a slight pause. Renji's world shattered. He took a step back. "You are of course relieved of duty for the rest of today and tomorrow," captain Kuchiki said as he walked out shutting the door behind him. Renji stumbled from the room after him not knowing where he was going.

* * *

**Mitigation**

* * *

Renji walked in a daze until he ran into a random member of thirteenth squad. He grabbed the kid's uniform perhaps a bit too roughly.

"What happened to Rukia," he was practically screaming, he _had_ to calm down. The kid seemed to understand though and put his hands on Renji's shoulders gently.

"She saw a hollow break though the line and went after it. If she hadn't we would never have noticed, it would have devastated the support team," the kid said in an awed voice. Renji felt the strength draining from him. "I'm so sorry for what happened but, she saved our lives, know that," the kid finished. Renji's breathing grew ragged but he knew that if she could have chosen a death she wouldn't have minded this one. It was far better than the pointless execution she had faced not long ago.

"Arigato," he replied brokenly.

* * *

**Rage**

* * *

Byakuya was sitting in his office doing paperwork, wishing half-heartedly for a battle to take his mind off things. Gods he was turning into Kenpachi. He hadn't taken the day off he'd given Renji. It wasn't out of any sense of martyrdom, he simply knew Renji: he would train, drink or find some friends and joke the pain away. He himself needed work.

It wasn't until a few hours later, rereading the same page for the third time that he realized he wasn't sure anyone had talked to Ichigo. He had assumed that Renji would. It would have been better that way, those three had been more siblings than Rukia and he had ever been, he could admit that. However the state Renji had been in when he'd left, he wasn't sure his vice-captain would think to.

So he found himself walking in the sunset following Ichigo's ridiculous soul-pressure. He had to give the kid credit he could back up his impertinent arrogance. He found Ichigo in the training grounds and entered, making sure the kid saw his approach and he wouldn't accidently—or intentionally—become a target dummy.

"Ichigo," he said.

"Yeah," he replied looking up but continuing to train. He really was impertinent.

"I wished to inform, if you haven't been already, that Rukia was killed in combat this afternoon," he said calmly. It felt like he was damaging his throat whenever he said that. Pain bloomed over his jaw as Ichigo sucker punched him. He didn't react, though he'd never admit he almost relished the pain. Then he was defending himself, blocking wild sloppy sword strikes, as Ichigo came at him shouting vulgar insults. As soon as it started the attack ceased. Ichigo fell to his knees crying openly while still shrieking insults. Distinctly out of his depth he reached down to try to offer some kind of comfort. Rukia would have wanted him to.

"FUCK OFF!" he turned and walked away, leaving Ichigo to grieve as he chose.

* * *

**Distraction**

* * *

Renji panted desperately as he spun around to make another slice. He'd been training for hours and could feel the strain in his muscles as they quickly worked their way from exhaustion to complete failure. He relished it, there were far worse things to feel. He ducked and leaped. Rebounding off the cliff face he felt his ankle twist, ignoring it he awkwardly cut down another target. He could feel his zanpakutou slipping as blood from prior falls dripped down his arms and slicked his hands. Still he continued and with every slash he slew Rukia's killer.

* * *

**Camaraderie**

* * *

She'd watched-and joined of course- Ken-chan's rampage from his back the day Yumichee and Baldy had died . She'd felt privileged to see the glory of it, pure destruction. That night all of squad eleven had gathered to drink and joke in the darkest of gallows humor. They told stories well into morning. Stories of Yumichee's insufferable vanity and Baldy's utter lack of decorum and just how idiotic they were and oh actually wasn't that one time when 'blah blah blah' kind of awesome. If maybe some of the lower ranks and even a few seats shed a tear or two well, Ken-chan pretended to be too drunk to remember and the others dutifully followed suit.

The next night they were resting on the roof of some random building. Ken-chan unable to sleep, had gone for a run and she'd followed. She watched him from behind as he stood at the edge of the roof, looking up at the moon. If he rubbed his eyes a bit too much or a bit too angrily to be completely innocent she pretended not to notice, it seemed only fair. He tore his gaze away from the moon.

"I think there are some hollows toward the east," she said jumping on his back.

"Let's go," he said smiling fiercely. He didn't thank her. He didn't have to.

* * *

**Commiseration**

* * *

Ichigo sat on the low wall utterly spent. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so helpless. He couldn't even avenge her since Sentaro had already killed the hollow. He couldn't even be angry at him for not getting there fast enough, it was Rukia's own damn fault for going after it on her own. He was shaken from his reverie by the sound of footsteps and looked up to see Renji trudging by.

"Hey Renji," he called.

"How ya holding up?" Renji asked.

"Tired," he replied with a shrug, "You?"

"Eh I'm fine. I j-just came from a training session," he said his voice cracking just enough to belie the statement. Ichigo wasn't exactly sure how it happened but one minute they were shooting the breeze about training techniques and the next he was holding his rival turned comrade as Renji sobbed into his shoulder. He fought his own tears and tried to pretend he hadn't done the same thing a few hours before.

* * *

**Lash**

* * *

Ichigo walked with Renji into the garden where the remembrance ceremony was to take place. It was two days since IT had happened and they were both exhausted. He looked around, surprised by the size of the turn out, when his gaze landed on Byakuya. Angry as hell at the cold-hearted bastard and somewhat mortified at having cried at his feet like a lovelorn girl; he angled his steps to intercept him. Renji seeing what he was doing followed with obvious reluctance.

"Just leave it," he muttered. Ichigo ignored him.

"Why are you even here," he snarled, low enough not to disrupt the proceedings.

"As the head of the deceased's clan my presence is required," he explained with no inflection.

"You tried to kill her!" he said and his voice rising inappropriately. Several people looked at him and he saw, _something,_ flicker across Byakuya's face as he looked at him before it settled in a mask of disgust.

"Do try to observe some etiquette please," he said. It was spoken calmly but there was an edge to the way he said please that made Ichigo feel a bit ashamed.

"Just leave," he said quietly. Byakuya ignored him and made his way to where he would stand for the proceedings.

* * *

**Steel**

* * *

Byakuya watched the remembrance ceremony impassively. It was a beautiful one. Rukia had been well liked and there were many people in attendance, though some were undoubtedly trying to curry favor with the Kuchiki name. He looked over at two he knew weren't. His lieutenant appeared wrung out and vaguely hungover. His hair was disheveled, eyes red from crying, though to his credit he hadn't shed any tears here. Ichigo stood at Renji's shoulder so obviously and openly on the verge of crying that it wasn't really worth the effort to not. He held no grudge against the boy for his outburst. It hadn't disrupted Rukia's ceremony and beyond that he didn't care. He did have to intentionally force the memory of the execution from his mind but, he'd been doing that every half hour anyway. Ichigo shot him a teary glare. Pathetic. He watched as Ukitake made his painful way toward the platform and swallowed, bracing himself, arranging his expression into a dignified mask. This was going to be...unpleasant.

* * *

**Daughter**

* * *

Ichigo watched Ukitake ascend the three steps up to the dais, wavering a bit as he did so. Ichigo thought he looked particularly frail, as he turned to face them.

"I am Jushiro Ukitake, captain of the deceased's squad and will tell of her death," he said. It sounded like a formal script. "She was one of the bravest souls I've known," his voice quavered, though whether with physical weakness or emotion Ichigo couldn't tell. "Her death saved the lives of untold reapers, both within my squad and others," his voice broke and he paused a moment. Ichigo blinked back tears. "All who were on the battlefield that day, owe her a debt of gratitude. However I owe her something more. I looked upon her as a… daughter," his voice caught noticeably and he coughed a bit before recovering to continue. "Of her conduct that day I could not be prouder and that is a debt I can never repay," he finished. He stepped from the platform, angrily brushing away a few stray tears.

Ichigo wiped his own and heard Byakuya whisper, "Arigato," as Ukitake walked by them. Ukitake nodded in acknowledgement.

* * *

**Sister**

* * *

Renji mounted the dais feeling deeply nauseous. He did _not_ want to do this but he owed it to her.

"I am Renji Abarai, friend of the deceased and I will tell of her life," he said formally, thankful that he felt too numb for his voice to register emotion. "She was probably the most selfless person I've ever met, I guess that's apparent now," he tried to laugh it came out suspiciously like a sob. So much for being numb he swallowed hard desperately blinking back tears trying not to embarrass himself. He saw Byakuya glaring at him from an otherwise impassive face and felt a chill down his back. _That_ sobered him up. He swallowed again. "She was a very kind, good-hearted person. She'd have given you anything, sh-she used to save the candy for the younger kids before we came to the academy. She was….." he tried to get some modicum of control over his voice then gave up. "The first person to show me kindness here, my best friend," he finished though he wasn't sure it was coherent. _My sister._

* * *

**Angel**

* * *

Nothing happened for a bit and Ichigo fought to regain his composure while realizing that lull was becoming awkward.

"Are you not going to speak," he heard a voice quiet and a bit rough. He turned to look at Byakuya, the man seemed surprised and there was pain poorly veiled in his eyes. He thought about it, he hadn't even realized he'd be allowed to. He should, he owed that much but, what would he say? That she had saved his life had changed it in so many ways. That she'd given him direction, purpose. She was his angel, guardian, guiding. He shook his head in the negative; he couldn't speak publicly the words she'd in such a short time earned. Byakuya nodded understanding and resignation written in his expression as he walked toward the dais.

* * *

**Reaper**

* * *

Ichigo was still thinking about what Rukia meant to him as Byakuya took his place on the dais, standing ramrod straight, expressionless. _Like a lord giving a speech to peasants, arrogant bastard_.

"I am Byakuya kuchiki, head of the deceased's clan and I will tell of her legacy," his voice was hammered steel. Ichigo felt anger rising on Rukia's behalf. "Rukia's legacy," he said pausing for effect. "Is him: Ichigo Kurosaki," Byakuya gestured to him. Ichigo was stunned out of his anger. _Me?_

"In his being a substitute soul reaper, we see her compassion," he said clearing his throat. "In his survival we see her selflessness," Pause for effect. _God do you have to grandstand at her funeral?_ "Her courage. In his loyalty we see a testament to her character," he continued. Silence.

"In his ability as a powerful substitute soul reaper, able to assist the soul society in our work we see her core. She was at heart a soul reaper and she died…a soul reaper," he left the stage and Ichigo watched in disgust as Byakuya walked a bit away from the group and started glad-handing some of the attendees. Her own brother was there for political expediency, it was disgraceful.

* * *

**Debts**

* * *

Renji had indicated that he'd needed to stay, so Ichigo had accompanied him. When pretty much everyone had left Ukitake walked up to them, carrying a heavily decorated cardboard box. Byakuya had wandered back as well, he looked older and about as annoyed as Ichigo'd ever seen.

"Ichigo is probably unaware but, it is common practice for reapers to keep a 'suicide box' with letters and other items to be distributed in the event of their death," Ukitake explained opening the box. Ichigo looked a Renji sideways, seeing he'd teared up.

"The box she k-kept her stuff in when we were in the Rukongai. I had one too," he answered the unspoken question. Ukitake pulled out a letter and began reading aloud.

" _To Captain Ukitake-sama whom I thank for everything I have accomplished in my time as a soul reaper: my eternal thanks and practice sword,"_ he said, his voice growing choked halfway through. " _To_ _my brother Renji who I owe surviving the Rukongai to, the included bag of candy—_ There is a smile face— _and attached letter,"_ he handed Renji the named item. Renji took it pointedly not looking at Byakuya, though he seemed utterly indifferent.

"Arigato," Renji said roughly.

" _To my friend and rescuer Ichigo to whom I owe my life I leave the robe I wore in Senzaikyu and the attached letter,"_ Ichigo took it from Ukitake's shaking hand.

"Arigato," he replied, resisting a strong urge to start sobbing into the fabric. Ukitake handed another letter to Byakuya who turned back having already started to leave. He seemed surprised and there was a ill-concealed hope in his eyes. He took the letter with a quiet thank you and Ukitake whispered something to him. Byakuya swept away leaving Ichigo certain he'd missed something.

* * *

**Laughter**

* * *

Kenpachi was cleaning out Yumichika's and Ikkaku's lockers and found a manila envelope in each. When he was done with the task at hand, he picked up Yachiru and took them to his office. Opening them he found that each was contained two letters; one addressed to each other and one to him. He burnt the ones address to each other with a sad smile; he did _not_ want to know. Then settled down starting with Ikkaku's and read aloud to Yachiru.

" _I have had a great time with eleventh squad. I just wanted to thank you and Yachiru—she is there right—for that. Remember the battle against the menos grande force in Kyoto, when we got surrounded? You said 'Hey for once we don't have to look for the fight. Give 'em hell and die well'_ ," Kenpachi started to laugh remembering the thrill of that battle, they'd only lost two men thanks to the ferocity of eleventh squad's attack. _"Well it was a ride and I loved every minute. Thanks for everything; I hope I died well,"_

"He died trying to avenge Yumichee I think that counts," Yachiru said hopefully.

"He was an idiot about it,"

"Baldy was an idiot about everything, at least he tried," Yachiru countered.

"Fair enough," Kenpachi chuckled, moving onto Yumichika's letter.

" _I don't want to get real sentimental I know how unattractive you find it, so I'm just going to thank you, since I couldn't bring myself to in person for extricating me from the mini-bat, or is that the mini-bat from me?"_ Laughing uproariously at the memory, he choked out the rest of the message. _"I'm not sure and I can't say I appreciated the method as much as the result. Anyway it was a good run you ugly bastard, thanks for everything, you too Yachiru,"_ Kenpachi finished. Still laughing he saw Yachiru looking at him sideways.

"Ken-chan, are you crying?" she asked. Her voice was a mix of shock and gentle teasing.

"Shut up," he replied gruffly.

* * *

**Solitude**

* * *

Byakuya walked back to his mansion as fast as he could without appearing to rush. Everything in his body language schooled to say 'I don't have time for you'. If he had to accept condolences from one more person who'd barely known her, while pretending he didn't care, he was going to decapitate something. . He didn't think he'd disgraced his name too badly, he wished voice hadn't kept breaking but, that couldn't be fixed now. Ukitake's parting words echoed in his head. 'She didn't hate you,' he doubted it was true but it was a nice thought.

Upon arriving at the manor he quickly retired to his rooms and locked the door. Not bothering to change out of formal attire he sat on the bed and opened the letter. _Her letter._

' _Byakuya-sama I would like to thank you for three things: first for the adoption I know how much I easier I had things because of it, even if you never let me trade on my name, I thank you for that lesson too. Second I thank you for sparing Ichigo, for no reason other than that I asked_.' _Damn._ Hewiped his eyes remembering with shame his conflict that night. He'd hated what he'd had to do with every fiber of his being, known it was wrong and still went through with it because it was his Duty.

' _Third I thank you for helping save my life at Sokyuku hill. I have nothing material to offer for any of these no tokens I could give you. Instead I give absolution and my love, though I doubt you care about either. I forgive you Byakuya-kun.'_ He smiled at the informal finish, the sentiment behind it. Drawing a shaky breath he looked around, the sun had almost completely set. He stood in the twilight wiping a hand over his face. With the edge of his uniform he patted dry three drops of liquid from where they had smudged the ink. He took a steadier breath and mask back in place went down to dinner.

* * *

**Monument**

* * *

Kenpachi approached the small meadow where he knew Yumichika had taken some of his…conquests. He'd loved the place because of the view of the western horizon, said it was the most 'attractive and beautiful in all Seireitei'. Kenpachi had mocked him relentlessly for it. He stopped dead when he saw Kuchiki's silhouette staring out to the west. The other turned and seeing him started walking away.

"Eh, don't leave on my account," he said when the man got closer. "I can come back,"

"There's no need," Kuchiki said.

"Then stay," he replied walking forward. Byakuya hesitated then turned around. They looked across at horizon lost in thought for a while when Kenpachi broke the silence.

"So why are you here?"

"Rukia liked it. I found her here after the Kian incident," he answered flatly. "You?"

"Same sorta. It's a good thing she didn't come a year or two later. She would have Yumichika doing things that'd of scarred her again," he laughed his ass off at Kuchiki's look of horror and disgust. Awkward silence fell again. _Eh hell since when do I care what people think._ Kenpachi thought as he walked forward and drove the swords he was carrying into earth so they crossed with the hilts sticking out and stepped back.

Byakuya hesitated but if the demon could mark his mourning for his teammates without shame than, surely standing on pride where his _sister_ was concerned was disgraceful bordering on cowardice. He walked up to the swords and hung the bloodied robe she'd died in, over it using the hilts for arms. He cast a glance at Zaraki to make sure—for the sake of general courtesy—that it wasn't seen as a desecration. The demon had a small smile playing on his lips and nodded ascent.

It occurred to him that, other than Yuchira, his squad was the closest thing Zaraki had to family. He had nothing but, empty condolences to offer though so said nothing. They stood enjoying the rare silence, Byakuya especially, happy with the lack pretense. Expresionless and dry-eyed they mourned without expectation.

* * *

**Respect**

* * *

The moon had long since risen and it was getting cold though neither showed it. With a thought to his earlier musings and a remembrance of how empty his huge manor would be Byakuya turned to his inadvertent companion.

"Would you care to come to the manor for dinner?" he asked formally.

"I told Yachiru we'd eat at my place tonight," Kenpachi replied. He genuinely wished he could accept, the man did not seem quite such a pretentious ass as usual. It occurred to him that Kuchiki was enough of a traditionalist that he probably didn't confide in his vice—who the fuck was it? Renji?—the way he could Yachiru. Rich and powerful as he was he had no one. Kenpachi knew that situation, wouldn't wish it on anyone.

"You could join us, if our 'peasant' food doesn't turn your delicate stomach," he offered. Byakuya was taken aback at the harshness before he realized that it wasn't classist sniping but, Zaraki's rough version of bonding. Byakuya thought about it, he didn't particularly like Zaraki but, then the man _had_ shown more class tonight than most nobles, the entire time he'd known them.

"I'll pay my share. How much?" he answered nodding.

"Nah just make good on your offer," Kenpachi said with a dismissive gesture.

"If you don't think the taste will be beyond your palate," he responded awkwardly. If Zaraki was trying to play on his field he could at least return the gesture.

"Palette? What the fuck does color have to do with it?" Kenpachi asked. Byakuya rubbed the bridge of his nose. This was a _bad_ idea. Zaraki's course laughter brought his head up.

"Fuck you really do think I'm simple don't you," he said. Had Byakuya not controlled his expressions out of habit he would have given a self-effacing smile he deserved that apparently. How he'd misjudged this man.

"My apologies," he should have been offended by the disrespect but, he wasn't. It was…refreshing not having to be some sort of statue. He wondered if Zaraki felt the same about being a 'demonic' fighting machine. Perhaps that was why he hadn't brought Yachiru? They shunpo'd toward Zaraki's quarters and somehow wordlessly wound up racing.

* * *

**Guarded**

* * *

They settled down to dinner. You could always rely on Yachiru to talk too much and she started in immediately.

"It's good that you joined us Icy," she said. Kenpachi resisted the urge to face palm _not helping pup._

"Thank you for the invitation," Kuchiki replied, formally polite.

"Is Icy doing okay? Ken-chan won't say anything but…"

"Stop talking," Kenpachi cut in roughly. There was NO way that line of conversation was going to end well.

Byakuya raised an eyebrow at Zaraki but said, "I'm fine. Are you?"

"Yeah I have Ken-chan for company," she said. Kenpachi winced but, saw that Kuchiki remained impassive. He was struck again by how guarded the man was. Strange in one who'd lived such a gentle life, it was a trait of someone used to being surrounded by enemies…or no one. He knew from personal experience exactly how unpleasant it was to be reminded of how alone you were, regardless of how much it showed. The ache of loneliness from his days in the Rukongai still haunted him in the dead hours of morning, when he woke from nightmares. He silently cursed Yuchiru.

The night continued as such, he and Yachiru bantering, Kuchiki answering Yachiru's constant comments politely, without inflection and with a minimum of actual information. He was more observant than his harsh reputation credited him though. Whenever he and Yachiru chatted back and forth for a particularly long while, he did not miss the utter desolation in the cold man's eyes.

When the dinner was over and they were cleaning up he approached Kuchiki.

"We only have a few hours until we have to get to the captain's meeting. You might's well crash here," he offered.

Kuchiki hesitated before saying, "That makes sense, if it would not be an imposition. Thank you." There was a hint of something shame? Embarrassment? in his eyes but, he said nothing else. Kenpachi saw no reason for it, the offer was strictly practical. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that this was not a night to be alone. Another thing he knew from experience even if he'd rather die than say so.

* * *

**Powerless**

* * *

Kenpachi woke in the dead hours before dawn, panting from some nightmare or another as usual. Unable to get back to sleep he left his quarters to run the rooftops like always. He stopped short when he saw Kuchiki leaning against a column on the covered porch, staring up at the moon. It was incongruous he'd never seen Kuchiki _lean_ on anything. He was supposed to be pretentious, stick-in-ass Kuchiki—Yumichika in particular had liked to play with that turn of phrase—he smiled sadly at the memory and approached.

He'd never claimed to be the stealthiest Shinigami around and as he drew abreast, Kuchiki turned his head away. Okay that's creepy, they might not have been friends—or maybe they were now, who the fuck kept track—but, he'd seen the man stare down blades that had given him near-fatal wounds.

"Can't sleep?" Kenpachi asked.

"I would think that was obvious," Kuchiki replied, voice hard. Wow catty much? He was in the process of forming a retort, when Kuchiki continued, "You did not deserve that. A poor way to repay your hospitality, I apologize."

"Whatever," Kenpachi shrugged, relaxing, "It isn't right for people like us to be powerless."

"Don't bother with the commiseration act. I am _fully_ aware of how pathetic this is…you aren't supposed to be here," he said, a trace of tired defeat entering his cold tone at the end.

"They're my quarters," he replied deadpan.

"You know what I mean," Kuchiki said, with a vague gesture. He was at a loss, he knew better than to mention how, unlike himself the other captain was being, that was just insulting. He tried a gentler tack.

"Well since I _am_ here, do you need anything?" he asked. Kuchiki looked at him finally, dry eyed, not that he was surprised, if blinking a bit too much. It looked like he had several responses in mind yet said nothing , his jaw clenched. Kenpachi saw desperation in the other captain's eyes. A need to do…something, and smiled. He was in familiar territory now.

"Or are you going to slouch on that column all day, bitch?" Kuchiki stiffened, his eyes widened. Kenpachi thought he saw his hand twitch and drew his own sword. Kuchiki's sword was drawn and swinging on instinct. To Kenpachi's surprise it was one of the best damn sparring matches he'd had in a long time.

* * *

**Yinyang**

* * *

Byakuya had been utterly mortified when Zaraki caught him tearing up over something as trivial as a moonscape. He hadn't exactly been avoiding the warrior but, they hadn't interacted much since then. However he still had a debt to pay so, when he found the other captain walking alone in the forest after the Maki incident, he invited him to the dinner he'd promised. They'd wound up talking in depth about loyalty and reasons for fighting.

After that it became a regular thing, if Kenpachi'd had a particularly rough mission he'd come over and they'd talk late into the night. If the situation was reversed, Byakuya would seek out his fellow captain and the conversation would always 'devolve' into a sparring match in short order. If they were both shaken they would usually, without any sort of agreement, wind up together at the monument. They'd stay in companionable silence until Kenpachi broke it or Byakuya encouraged a fight.

After a few months of this Byakuya noticed that his riatsu was improving…a lot. Eventually he put aside his pride and broached the subject of Kenpachi training with his squad on occasion. To his surprise, the other captain ruefully expressed a similar sentiment about adding a little finesse to the eleventh squad.

When Kenpachi came to guest instruct he heard his squad— minus Renji—muttering in disgust.

He silenced them with a look and a simple sentiment, "You will listen and you _will_ learn."

When he returned the favor he ignored the crass comments and sneers. Kenpachi had merely smirked and allowed him to silence them himself on the point of his sword.


End file.
